7 Habits of Highly Effective People

The Book in 3 Sentences

Stephen R. Covey outlines a method to establish core values (principles) to align our actions to, resulting in living more fulfilling personal and professional lives. He argues that we must first achieve self-mastery (being proactive, beginning with the end in mind, and putting first things first), then build interpersonal relationships (thinking win-win, understand then be understood, synergizing), then maintain yourself and your relationships with consistent habits. This “character ethic” approach emphasizes foundational principles like integrity, humility, and courage over the “personality ethic” approach which focuses on improving your superficial image through psychology tricks and other quick fixes.

Impressions

Similar to Atomic Habits, this book emphasizes the importance of building a core root and branching out from it through consistent habits. Atomic Habits emphasized a 3 layer approach starting with finding an identity, building processes, then achieving results which ultimately reflect your identity. Similarly, 7 Habits starts with making a personal statement about your principles and letting those principles guide your actions.

The difference is Atomic Habits goes into the behavioral mechanics of habit formation, breaking it down into four stages: Cue, Craving, Response, and Reward, and provides actionable strategies for each stage. Clear gives specific guidance on how to build incremental habits that will result in significant, positive changes over time, but leaves which habits to pursue up to the reader. 7 Habits is broader but less specific, taking a structured progression approach with specific habits that build on each other.

Because of these differences, I think the two books complement each other well.

Covey presents 7 Habits as a counterargument to books like Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, which explores the psychology behind why people say “yes” and how to apply behavioral tricks to your advantage. However, I think of the methods in Influence as an arsenal of tools to use in win-lose situations, and to recognize their use in win-lose situations like buying a used car. These tools may also be used to lubricate tense situations especially in the initial stages when both parties are on alert.

So I still think behavioral books like Influence are still worth reading, but I agree with Covey that we should commit to leading principle-first lives.

How I Discovered It

I saw that this book was highly recommended on Amazon and bought the hard copy 8 years ago. I started reading it but never finished it, and re-found it when I was moving out of the house last year.

Who Should Read It?

If you enjoy self help books, you will definitely enjoy this one. It is like what “Rich Dad Poor Dad” is for real estate, or what “The Intelligent Investor” is for investors. It is a foundational book that you have probably seen recommended as a first read for self help.

If you don’t enjoy self help books but want to improve your life, I found Atomic Habits to be an easier read and more actionable. However, these books are complementary to each other so I would recommend reading both.

How the Book Changed Me

I found myself being more intentional in my actions the days after when I read parts of the book.

Habit 2, beginning with the end in mind, made me question the exploration-exploitation approach I took in pursuing my masters degree. Exploration-exploitation suggests that there should be a stage where we maximally try new things (say “yes” to everything), then settle on refining and focusing on one thing. I still question which approach makes more sense career-wise. I feel more inclined towards exploitation-exploitation because we must have some search time to expand our imperfect information.

Habit 3, the time management matrix made me realize that I was too focused on putting out fires early on in my career partially because of my fault and partially because management was not structured well. The book reminded me that ultimately I am the single stakeholder and decision maker of my own career and I must be directed in how I spend my time to make progress.

Habit 4, think win-win is especially important and meshes well with the engineering mentality. In engineering it is important to think outside of tradeoffs and try to reach a solution that improves on the past iteration in all dimensions. While the commercial team may try to negotiate a higher percentage of profits with the supplier (zero sum game), the manufacturing team may focus on eliminating waste, resulting in higher profits for both the supplier and customer (win-win).

My Top 3 Quotes

• “Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.”
• "The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”
• "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Summary

• Habit 1: Be Proactive
  • Proactivity is about taking responsibility for your life. You are responsible for your choices and have the power to choose your response to any situation.
  • Focus on your Circle of Influence—things you can control—instead of your Circle of Concern—things you cannot control.
• Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
  • Define your mission and goals in life. Envision what you want in the future so you can work and plan towards it.
  • Create a personal mission statement that outlines your values and guiding principles.
• Habit 3: Put First Things First
  • Prioritize your tasks based on importance rather than urgency. Focus on activities that align with your goals and values.
  • Use the Time Management Matrix to categorize tasks into four quadrants: urgent and important, not urgent but important, urgent but not important, and not urgent and not important.
• Habit 4: Think Win-Win
  • Adopt a mindset that seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Effective and lasting relationships require a Win-Win approach.
  • Build trust by demonstrating integrity, maturity, and an abundance mentality.
• Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
  • Practice empathetic listening to genuinely understand another person's perspective. This builds trust and respect.
  • Once you understand, communicate your views clearly and respectfully.
• Habit 6: Synergize
  • Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals that no one could have done alone.
  • Value differences and seek to build on them to create a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.
• Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
  • Take time to renew yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Regular self-renewal keeps you effective in the long term.
  • Engage in activities that promote well-being and personal growth, such as exercise, reading, and meditation.